Last week, Saturday. That’s when I had my first kiss. A real one.
That was when I became sure and unsure of what is ahead of us. I did not resist, nor did I regret it after. And it was already there. Perhaps it just had to happen. The feeling is comparable to seeing fireworks but the ground you are on is shaking. It is wonderful yet kind of dangerous. I found out that something good can literally take your breath away. And make you feel high.
It took me almost a week to come up with a decision. But it didn’t feel like I was pressured or rushing myself into this.
I used to tell myself that if I am going to enter a relationship, I have to make sure that I am really sure. There’s got to be more than ‘I think…’, or ‘just enough’. But since there is nothing sure-footed in this world, then why not go and take a risk on something that might change the course of this journey? I took a step nonetheless, because I believe that “the hardest thing about the road not taken is that you never know where it might have led.” I know I wouldn’t stand the ‘what ifs’ and the regret of not trying at all.
Don’t mean to sound mushy, but I never thought I’d find myself in something like this. I never thought I’d be existing in something like this. Something that I was yearning for has found its time. I am glad that I am with someone who tries to understand me and the world that I am in, someone patient, someone who does not only have the looks (*wink*) but has a wonderful heart as well. Someone who listens to me. Someone who makes me realize (though I bet he has no idea he does it) a lot about myself: what I lack, what I don’t know, what I have to change, where I have to grow. Well, I want both of us to not just grow, but thrive. I am glad I am with someone who makes me think and feel. Someone who is real. Someone who I want to get to know more every day, and still be surprised at what I will find out. And vice-versa. All I can say is, I am joyful for this. I wouldn’t be so sure about someone if it was only for the physical attraction.
The longer that we’re together, the good keeps on getting better.
I guess I could say that this chapter being written about my life is not just all about ‘me’ anymore. No certainty what happens next, how long this is going to be, but I really want to treasure this and cherish every single moment of it.
Last week, Saturday. I was shaken.
Last night, Saturday, until the present and the coming days. It feels like the world and the time stands still.