Obligations… Is it not about the money?

Everything’s being so stressful (basically, financial obligations) recently, when I thought I could already enjoy my final year of being a teenager.

I feel like I have been aging 10 years from my actual age since I started to work. 😦 To be honest, I am enjoying what I am doing, and I am glad that I am part of the team that has successfully finished a sorta big project for the past few months. But when I think about the ka-ching, the $$$… Man, I swear I’m going crazy.

Being a 19 year old who hates accountancy, I sure as heaven have the littlest idea on how to handle this sum of money. Savings! Ugh. Sure I know the basic bits like buying my own things/necessities and not asking money from mum anymore, but when it comes to partaking for the family’s financial needs, it feels to me like an obligation. I can’t help but think, “I’m just a teen, why do I have to shoulder, like, half of the financial responsibilities in this family? Not meaning to sound rude or ungrateful but can’t I fully enjoy the fruits of my hard work while I’m still young?”  I can’t help but think of the dreams I have and the things I have so long wanted to have, how much I could save so that I will be able to fulfill them in the future. But being the eldest daughter, I know this is a part of my responsibilities but it feels like I am losing what I got in an instant. What’s more annoying is that when I don’t get my full salary and have to break down all my expenses and not spend on things I think I need. Whatever happened to those deductions? I am rarely absent. But aye it happens, I just need proof and stuff.

It also seems to me that my parents are still kind of in control of my life and my belongings. It shouldn’t be that way, should it? I’ve been deciding/thinking/talking old enough for my age for so long, I hope they could slack off in handling me and just let me go.

Lord, please help me!! My nape is already aching and my mind’s gonna explode just by figuring and calculating these things out. I yearn to be financially secure and enjoy my life with whatever that I have.


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