“I worry of failing.”

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? -Matthew 6:25-27

I can’t stop worrying. Whenever I am in the verge of failing, or whenever I sense that something negative will happen after I take this action, I worry so much about it. The feeling of anxiety is not good, because it causes me too much stress and distracts me from looking at all the other things there are in life.

I am almost graduating. Supposedly I should be very happy about this, because at last, all those years struggling from studies will finally come to pass. But I worry because I have this one subject in school that I think I will fail. I worry that if I fail to meet the requirements, I will not be able to graduate on time. HENCE, all future plans destroyed.

Why does it scare me? Because I don’t want to be put to shame, and I don’t want my parents to be ashamed of me, being the eldest daughter. I don’t want to ruin the expectations of people. But see how this just one subject causes me to feel so depressed and worried? It makes me feel hopeless.

But you know what I always think during these situations? It’s that I have the Lord with me, to lift me up because I can not do it by myself anymore. I am reminded of His promises. I have this promise in my heart that I don’t have to be in fear but be of good courage, because He will never fail me nor forsake me. This is the silver lining I see. Because of all His promises, I am given HOPE that even if I fail, He will ALWAYS succeed in His plans for me.

I have read somewhere that we feel depression because we wanted to get the things required of this world. I am in the phase where the UNIVERSITY is my world, therefore getting good grades is of huge importance, and failing to get good ones will lead me to depression. But I don’t want that to happen. I realized that the Lord does not allow us to fail just because He wanted to, but to let us know that we can not fully succeed and do anything by ourselves alone. We need SOMEBODY to help us succeed. Always. Two heads are better than one, right? The Lord is telling us that if we have faith in Him and what He could do for us, even in our prayers, He will never fail us. Therefore, do not worry of what there would be tomorrow. He has His right time, He knows EXACTLY the desires of our hearts, and He will grant us the things that we truly need. He will never abandon us.

So for the quiz tomorrow, I have to do my best. I can not fail anymore. But whatever happens, I will listen to what the Lord has to say, because He knows what’s best for us. I still believe in miracles. I believe in Him. I believe I will not fail this one. Please Lord, don’t let us fall down. Guide us, and let Your Will be done. 🙂

I will let you Lord, intervene over my studies. Please lord over my academics.

God bless you! 😀


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