Throw it all away.

I never thought that I would even feel worse. I just told my friends that I am very fine, after what happened. You know, it is very hard to try and defend yourself for a mistake that did not actually came from you. I have cried all I can yesterday and I did not want to do it AGAIN. It is just that I never thought he was like that. I could not cope with the situation right now. Somebody kept on bombarding these things to me and I just don’t know what to do. I have never cried because of a guy, but because of this certain issue, I can’t help but do it.

Maraming namamatay sa maling akala. Patay na ko. Ayoko na. In whatever way I put it, I was always the one who looked bad. I admit, yung unang away dahil yun sa’min. But this time, ano nanaman ‘to? I don’t know, but what’s wrong? Why can’t people just tell me what’s wrong with me instead of making parinig in… wherever? I could take all the rage and hate you throw me but this is just all too much. Sana kinausap mo ko, kahit murahin mo ko okay lang eh. Pero ano yan?

Kung ipapamukha mo pa sakin lahat ng maling ginawa ko, bakit ngayon mo lang sinasabi? Kung alam mo lang na hindi na ko makahinga dito, literal na hindi makahinga every time na naaalala ko yung binitawan mong mga salita sa blog mo. Well, ano nga bang pakialam mo dun. I don’t like you that much either. I have told you that. We have told that to each other. If you wanted to throw it all away, it’s fine with me. We still both have a lot of time and there are still a lot of people. Hindi ko lang alam sa’yo kung gusto mo ‘tong ayusin eh, pero ang sakit lahat ng pinagsasabi mo. Hindi ko alam na ganyan ka. Hindi at AYOKO na ipagpilitan ko yung sarili ko sa’yo. Pasensya na siguro kung paminsan feeler. Pero sige. Hanggang dun na lang ‘yun.

Wala na kong maisip. Ang bigat lang masyado sa loob ko. Kailangan ko lang ilabas.

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