It all began during lunch time, when I saw this random guy in shades who looked like TJ. I was eating my waffle while blabbing about that look-alike and laughing myself, and told them, “Tignan niyo ‘yung naka-shades, kamukha ni TJ! Hahahaha…” Marie looked the opposite way, and I said, “Hindi dyan, dun sa kabila!” And so they looked to where I was pointing. Then I drank my Milo freeze.
While I was busy sipping and biting the straw, I recognized Clarence and Marie doing uber weird stuff, Clarence pinching her nose and Marie turning red. I laughed, thinking that they got what I was saying about the look alike, and I said, “Ano? Nakita niyo? Kamukha diba!” Then all of a sudden, Marie stood up and was turning red than ever, laughing her lungs out.
Clarence: Ano, nakita mo ba?
Marie & Clarence: Eto talaga ang bulag! Si Kenji!! Dumaan sa harap natin!
And I was like, what the friggin’ hell where was I looking at the moment and searched for Kenji, and I saw his back. W were all like, “SAYANG!” and Marie said, “YUNG SA ENGLISH!!!”
Then I drained. What is that guy doing outside the Eng’g building during class hours?!
Yeah, sayang nga. But what can I do? We waited. Nothing came. Para akong kiti-kiting hindi mapakali dun sa kinalalagyan ko kasi di ko alam anong gagawin. Then suddenly Cyrolle said he will buy some food to eat. While he was away, I asked the Lord for another sign: If I saw Kenji walking towards the Eng’g building ALONE, I will talk to him. Else, leave him be.
When Cyrolle came back, he said he saw Kenji outside McDonald’s eating ALONE.
I don’t want to take that chance. Suddenly I remembered I had to photocopy something at D2B, so I asked Marie and Janette to do it for me, while Clarence and I will be looking out JUST IN CASE he goes that way.
After a while, Marie came back, and she said that he was at D2B. That was plain crazy, very coincidental. Now I decided to go up with them and xerox the thing. AND THE BAD THING BEGAN.
The moment we were going inside D2B (I was the last one to go in), I saw him face-to-face. We looked at each other, then just like a reflex action, we ignored each other. It felt awkward.
And it went like that. Negative thoughts overflowed in my mind, and I told Marie that I would not ask him about the English thing again. I told her that I don’t want him to think of me as desperate.
I felt really bad, like I wanted to punch his face and all. AND I THOUGHT THAT THAT WAS THE END OF IT.
I started to scream about forgetting what happened and forgetting HIM as well, and I thought I was already doing fine. At 7:30pm we shot the last parts of our video at the Quadricentennial Square. When it was over, we bade farewell to each other. Cyrolle, Karla, and Yza went home to España, Marie at Dapitan, and Clarence, Janette, and I at McDo. I said, “Wait, magc-CR lang ako.” So because I loved walking fast, I left them behind.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED?
It was about 9pm. And I saw Kenji again, and we almost bumped each other if we weren’t looking. We looked at each other for a second, and again, just like a reflex action, we ignored each other. I even bowed down just to hide my face. Then I heard voices screaming behind me, asking, “Si ano yun di ba? MARIE! WAG KA MUNA UMUWI!!” Then and there, they URGED me to follow Kenji, thinking that this was the last chance I could chase him.
I did. I do not understand why I did but I did. I just realized I was walking too fast already that I was miles away from my friends and miles nearer to that guy. I kept on glancing at my back to see if my friends were still there and to know if I have to go forward. Faster and faster I went. He walks faster than I do.
I had my hoarse voice coming out, but gladly it came out. The moment I called him, I don’t know what else to do, and I was thinking if I have to repeat it again (I was kind of confused if it was really his name), or turn backwards and leave him hanging. Instead, I waited for him to look. AND HE DID. That smiling face I never thought would be there was there in front of me. I can’t help but smile as well. 😐
“Ui… Hello! Nakikilala mo ba ako?”
“Oo, ikaw si Ja..Janii?”
“Yeah. Uhm… Regarding dun sa message ko sa’yo… Kakapalan ko na talaga mukha ko ha. Sorry. Uhm…”
“Ayaw mo talaga? Haha, okay lang yun! Thank you!”
BLAH BLAH BLAH. 😀
AND HE WAS JUST SMILING THE WHOLE TIME. He acted so childish he keeps on repeating what I am saying and what he said and actually he does not know what to say. GAD, I THINK I WAS MELTING AT THAT MOMENT.
I told him it was okay if he didn’t agree (because somehow I wished he didn’t agree) but damn, how did I do that? I don’t know. Para kami dung nagngingitiang ewan.
When I came back, Clarence, Janette, and Marie have weird smiles pasted on their faces and I was like, “Wait, I have no idea what was going on.” They said that they were like watching a movie, and the moment Kenji turned around, they said it was just like everything went in slow motion. ♥
Then I just realized, “Hey, God just gave me what I was asking for a few moments ago, even if I was always a bad girl to others. It was good I did not let go of the chance and disappoint myself.”
Maybe it was God’s plan, maybe it was a trick. A chance I went upon, a chance I had the courage to pick.
I told them a few hours before the happening that it has always been my tradition to talk to my crush so that I could forget what I was feeling for them. I was always like that, when I already talked to them, it’s over.
Marie: “So parang ‘yun na yung GOODBYE mo sa kanya…”
ME: Tingin ko. Buti na lang talaga nagawa ko. Okay na yun!
Clarence: Hindi, malay mo, simula pa lang yan.