4 months.

It’s been already 4 months since 1st day of College Life.

And I just uncovered something:

I don’t take crushes seriously. They often last for 3 days, a week, or maybe a month. But now, it exceeded my limit. He’s only my infatuation. And if after 4 months I haven’t given up on him, I think I’m going further.

I have a lot of why’s, what’s, how’s, and whatevers circling in my head, but I can’t seem to answer them. They are like unheard voices, waiting and wanting to get out. I can’t set them free, because I’d rather not have the answer, the truth, when it is just meant to hurt and stab my heart into pieces. Well, that’s what truth gives to us right?

Just like what a song says, “The truth hurts worse than anything.” – Fall Out Boy.

xoxo,

~janii

P.S. he wasn’t on school today. and i almost ended a day without asking where he is, but i don’t know, i can’t do it, so on the 3rd subject a while ago i asked my seatmate, “bat kaya wala siya?”
And then a classmate told me he’s shifting to another course, and I felt my tummy turn topsy turvy, but I thought “Why should I care? Who am I to care anyway?”

and she just laughed and thought of me as crazy.

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